Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

Building relationships is a huge part of every young adult’s life. We are constantly interacting with family, roommates, friends, peers, bosses, professors, and other leaders. Not to mention, many of us are also married, dating, or seeking relationships. No matter what kind of relationship it is, it is important that these relationships are healthy, that they build us up and make us happy, rather than give us anxiety or sadness.

Here are ten tips/suggestions for healthy relationships:

1. Be yourself! It is important that you feel comfortable and confident in who you are. You shouldn’t feel like you need to act or be different around others.
2. Respect.  In a healthy relationship, there is respect for each other and each other’s values. This especially includes respect for moral standards.
3. Realistic expectations. Remember, no one is perfect! Everything will not be perfect at every moment. Although we should hope to have a positive influence on others, we can’t expect to change others. You need to respect them for who they are.
4. Communication is KEY. You both need to take time to talk. When you are having a conversation, be there physically and mentally. Listen with genuine concern and interest. Don’t plan your next statement before they have finished talking. Don’t interrupt. Ask questions to understand the other person's point of view. Share information with one another.
5. Be dependable and committed. If you make plans or a commitment to do something, be sure to follow through. You should be able to count on each other. Be trustworthy.
6. Fight fairly. 
• Find a good time to talk things through.
• Don’t criticize or blame.
• Use “I” statements to express your feelings.
• Let the other person speak for themselves – don’t put words in their mouths.
• Stay focused on the situation at hand; don’t bring up old issues.
• Admit mistakes and say “sorry.” 
• Don’t hold grudges. Forgive freely.
• Seek a solution together.
7. Be honest. Be honest with your feelings and in all your communications.
8. Show warmth and care. Show that you really care. Be kind, genuine, and approachable. Serve each other and help when you can. Give sincere compliments and show appreciation. 
9. Keep life balanced and take care of yourself. Relationships are important, but make sure to evenly balance them with school, work, and your personal needs. Take time for yourself and listen to your needs.  
10. Remember that it’s a process. Relationships take time to establish and strengthen. Learning to build relationships takes practice too. Reach out and do your best.

Additionally, here are some characteristics of unhealthy relationships:

• Controlling or manipulative
• Hostility
• Dishonesty
• Disrespect
• Dependence
• Intimidation
• Criticism
• Feels like a burden
• Violence
• Lack of equality
• Forced sexuality
• Neglect of self or other person
• Lack of communication

If you are in an unhealthy relationship, don’t be afraid to end it. If you need help, ask!

Now is the time to make friends, date, and learn to work with others. Practice these suggestions for healthy relationships that will not only build you as a person, but last in the years to come.

Sources:
Allen, Nikole. "Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships." UW Medicine. University of Washington, n.d. Web. 01 July 2013. <http://depts.washington.edu/hhpccweb/content/clinics/family-health/healthy-vs-unhealthy-relationships>.

"Characteristics of Healthy & Unhealthy Relationships | Find Youth Info." Teen Dating Violence. FindYouthInfo.gov, n.d. Web. 01 July 2013. <http://findyouthinfo.gov/youth-topics/teen-dating-violence/characteristics>.

"Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships." Domestic Violence Resource Center. Domestic Violence Resource Center, n.d. Web. 01 July 2013. <http://dvrc-or.org/domestic/violence/resources/C67/>.